Searching For The Way To Connect

Searching

9/25/11
Part 3 in the series of posts
on connecting with your family.

There is something to be said for families living near each other and having the options and opportunity to share everyday experiences as they choose. However, for many this is not the case, and sadly we are among them. So the next best thing is being able to share the everyday experiences with each other through some kind of effective and frequent communication. We are fortunate to have electronics now.


When our son was serving his mission in Brazil in 1995 we had to rely on snail mail exclusively. Some of the places he served waited until a cardboard box was full before they even took the mail to the next town to send out. Communication was very spotty and difficult. The first year he was there his Christmas box mailed in early October did not arrive until just a week or so before his birthday at the end of March.

Now missionaries can e-mail home once a week as they serve all over the world. The immediacy of that cannot be under emphasized. When your missionary is sick you can now begin to pray that same day. When our son was gone it might be two or three weeks past the illness before we even knew about it. So we are thrilled with the electronic ways to communicate with our family. We also probably have a heightened awareness of its importance because of our experiences.

So what type communication mediums work best and how can you keep the communication fresh with your family when you are separated? Whether it is different cities or states, different countries, different continents, it all presents barriers to the best case scenario of being nearby. I admit to being deathly afraid of that unintentional drifting that can happen without a concerted effort to prevent it. So I have tried lots of different things over the years.

This is what I have found...frequent communication is actually much easier than sporadic communication. Have you ever noticed how hard it is to write a letter to someone you are close to when you haven't done so in several months? The question is where do you start what do you leave out, etc. It is hard to share your lives in bits and pieces. Without the details it becomes like your annual Christmas letter~just barely glazing over the highlights.

It is hard to keep a closeness with highlights only. We don't just want to know what our family is doing...we want to know what they are thinking, experiencing and needing. We want to know about their ups and downs, their joy and sorrows, etc. We want to be a part of their lives not just know about them. I know I keep repeating how hard this is...because it is! We all have lots of demands on us and the days can easily just slip away into weeks without a minute to stop and make that communication happen. Add time zone differences into the mix and you really have to be on your toes! Two of our kids have lived out of the country more than once, Our daughter that was gone only once was gone for 3 years. You have to figure out what works best for you to stay close.



We have done the snail mail thing...only mildly effective although packages are always nice! And the sight of actual handwriting is always neat. It is a treat to get something besides junk mail too.

We tried Skype so we could see each other and talk on the phone/computer. That is free but was only mildly successful. When the cameras are working, internationally it is wonderful...the next best thing to being there. It was very spotty with Italy. We have done it a few times with Chris and Missy and the kids too in Utah but not when they were in China.


We got reduced phone rates for Italy which makes calling there very inexpensive, but we didn't know about that for Scotland and China. We also got a special package for US long distance calls on our land line and cells. That is great..unlimited calling for a certain amount which I don't remember. That has helped a great deal.

The problem with calling is the time difference for Italy and knowing when is a good time for our Utah kids with all their activities, etc. It is hit and miss at best sometimes. I had been leaving messages for Laura and Robert for a year before I realized they didn't have message service on their phones even though a message prompt always came on! That's Italy for ya! None of us are good at returning calls when messages are left on our land lines except Missy (what would we do without our Missy?)

We do e-mail sometimes but that hasn't been the best either. It is best for newsy type stuff in someways or when you want to connect one on one. And I do love that it is current. We also tried the round robin e-mail thing where you would add your bit and send it on. Mildly successful for a time. The problem with stuff like this is everyone has to have to same level of commitment to it for it to work and with young families it is unrealistic and pressure they didn't need.

We tried a Family Blog when the Blogging thing was new. It was more like IMing but it was pretty fun while it lasted. It just let you connect for a minute or two every day or so. Nothing in depth but everyone could read everyone else's comments and that was fun. It was also when there were about five less kids than they have now. Now we like texting for the quick messages.

One of the best things so far has been the iPhone that Jen got for her birthday a few years back. Just about everyday we get new photos of the girls and their family things going on. This has helped us to feel so much better connected. Facebook has also been a way to keep in touch with Jen that has been pretty fun. Laura has started using it regularly just recently. I don't do Twitter but have dabbled in Google + just recently, mostly to keep up and know how to use it.. Social networking can be a great tool, it can also be a big waste of time. You have to use it wisely.

For me the very best way is blogging. I have been blogging almost daily since December 2007. I use the Blogger, Google's platform and find it very user-friendly.

I have created a blog on beginning a blog and other how-tos regarding this fine way to communicate and preserve histories as well. I will be happy to share it should you be interested. Just leave a comment and I'll get it to you. I have several niche blogs like this one about various topic that I write and one especially for and about our grandchildren.

It is a place where the cousin connection can take place. I am inviting the older kids to start sending me posts of fun things they are learning and doing. A couple of them already have blogs of their own. Pretty soon they will have a good thing going on their cousin connection blog and they won't even need me! Again, if you want any links to the blogs just let me know via commenting.

Blogging can not only keep your family and personal history going but it can also keep connectivity with your family. I am all for multitasking when possible. Blogging is clearly a winner for me!

Blogs=Super Glue That Works For Our Family!

This is pretty much the end of my postings about the living in our family on this blog. The remainder of my posts will focus more on doing family history and genealogy for our ancestors! But I just wanted you to know how important the living are to us as well!