Define Your Dash

Family Search Blog post by Angie Lucas

Define Your Dash: Start Writing Your Personal History with the #52Stories Project

January 9, 2017 By Angie Lucas

On nearly every headstone, no matter how plain or ornate, is carved one universal symbol. It’s a simple horizontal line—a dash—separating two significant dates. The first marks the day one precious soul entered this mortal life. The second marks his or her inevitable journey onward.

A well-known poem by Linda Ellis, “The Dash,” speaks of this symbol:

“For that dash represents all the time
that they spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved them
know what that little line is worth.”

We are each, right now, standing somewhere in the middle of our own individual dashes. As Dieter F. Uchtdorf has said, “We may feel we are at the beginning or end of our lives, but when we look at where we are against the backdrop of eternity . . . we can recognize that we are truly in the middle” (“Always in the Middle,” Ensign, July 2012, 4).

Because it’s human nature to think of our lives in terms of beginnings and endings, the new year gives us the perfect opportunity to make sure we are making the most of that dash, filling in the details of our lives so our loved ones and our posterity are not left wondering what happened in between.

All of us are “in the dash.” But, you may be thinking, “I’ve got plenty of time to record my life story for my posterity. Why start now? Why this year?”

Here’s why: because, in addition to the value of leaving a legacy, great personal and family benefits also arise from personal reflection and journaling.

Personally, you’ll benefit from the practice of reflecting over your life, collecting your thoughts, and making sense of your experiences. The very act of writing things down is therapeutic; it can provide a sense of purpose and control. It may also reveal patterns in your life, increase your gratitude, foster a stronger sense of self, and even make you happier and more successful in your daily life.

In his book The Happiness Advantage, Harvard professor Shawn Achor cites research that shows how “explanatory style—how we choose to explain the nature of past events—has a crucial impact on our happiness and future success. People with an optimistic explanatory style interpret adversity as being local and temporary . . . while those with a pessimistic explanatory style see these events as more global and permanent. Their beliefs then directly affect their actions” ([New York: Crown Publishing, 2010], 187–88).

The pen (or keyboard) is in your hands. You get to choose how you interpret and explain the events of your life—both for your own benefit and for the benefit of current and future generations. And not just at some future date. Right now.

A study published in the Journal of Family Life in 2010 (“Do You Know? The power of family history in adolescent identity and well-being”) found that teens who knew more stories about their extended family were more resilient in the face of adversity. They showed "higher levels of emotional well-being, and also higher levels of identity achievement, even when controlling for general level of family functioning” (“Children Benefit if They Know About Their Relatives, Study Finds,” Emory University press release, Mar. 3, 2010).

Citing this research, Bruce Feiler wrote in the New York Times that children with the most self-confidence have what’s called a strong “intergenerational self.” In other words:

“They know they belong to something bigger than themselves.”

Don’t expect to sit down and pour out the events of your entire life in one epic writing session. Just like a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, a personal history begins with a single story, followed by another story, and another one. And that’s where FamilySearch’s #52Stories Project comes in.

The idea is to write one brief story about your life, past or present, every week this year. You can do this in a handwritten journal, in a document on your computer, or via a series of voice or video recordings. You can even select certain stories to share on your FamilySearch Family Tree profile, where they’ll be preserved for your posterity.

At the end of the year, you’ll have 52 notches in your personal history dash. That’s 52 opportunities to capture the story of your life—52 chances to shape your family’s intergenerational narrative.

Sounds easy enough in theory, but what on earth are you going to write about each week? Should you just start at the beginning and record all the events of your life chronologically?

Actually, no. That’s the most challenging way to go about this project. Memory isn’t orderly, structured, or predictable. Recollections are more likely to surface randomly, sparked by various external triggers. Embrace the randomness, and just start writing. You can always organize your stories later if chronology matters to you.

You don’t have to look far for a great series of memory triggers. The #52Stories Project has divided the year into 12 themes, from “Goals & Achievements” to “Education & School” to “Holidays & Traditions,” providing 12 different questions for each theme. That’s a total of 144 questions, giving you plenty of options to choose from as you build your library of #52stories. The questions are available for download, and you’ll also see a different question highlighted each week on Instagram (@FamilySearch) and the FamilySearch Facebook Page.

Your Story Matters

Start filling in the details of your dash now, while you’re still in the middle. Discover the power of shaping your own personal history, strengthening family bonds, and yes, leaving a legacy.

“A life that is not documented is a life that within a generation or two will largely be lost to memory,” said Dennis B. Neuenschwander in a 1999 LDS general conference address. “What a tragedy this can be in the history of a family. Knowledge of our ancestors shapes us and instills within us values that give direction and meaning to our lives.”

Additional Resources:

#52stories Printables 

Follow and Share #52stories

2017 Weekly Questions

Why Write?

We as genealogists and family historians know the value of records first hand.  We know how important they are to us personally and how they connect us to ancestors that would be lost without the writing and efforts of others to create them.  When people were silent, records still reveal their lives, their comings and goings, their triumphs and their even their secrets.  Contrary to the popular notion that a secret from the past was taken to his or her grave to be buried and forgotten...that is often not the case.

The decisions we make, both seemingly insignificant or huge do impact the course of our family history and our posterity from that time forth.  Think of the simple act of moving to a new location and how that affects generations in the future.  My parents moved from Minnesota to California a month before I was born.  That changed everything for me, my history and my posterity.

Wouldn't it be best if we kept track of our own lives and recorded it. The records that are public we have very little say over.  But what about the color of our lives?  The things that made us who we have become?  What we learned from the triumphs and failures of others?   Or our own?

I am not saying to divulge every little thing we have done that may have a negative or even positive effect on our posterity. Most mistakes are between us and Lord and trying to straighten them out after the fact is called repentance.   In the rare event that we have something that will be recorded publicly, maybe we would want to tell our own side of the story, even if we leave it in a safe deposit box or some place to be found after we are gone.

But at the very least shouldn't we keep a record of the good things and events both good or bad that taught us things, that helped us to improve and grow and learn.  That way the important things in our lives will not go slipping by like sand through our fingers and be lost.  Those thousand and one things that have meaning to us can be cherished and preserved through our writing and the recording of them.

Winston Churchill stated that history would remember him in a favorable light.  When asked why he said, "Because I intend to write it myself!"  He did write it.  He is indeed, remembered favorably to many in the world.  Our goal is not to be remembered as a perfect individual as we all know that is not the case.  But perhaps the goal is to be remembered and understood.  Who can explain who we are better than us?  We are the only ones that truly understand our heart, our motives and our intentions.  Do we want someone else speculating on those things after we are gone?  I don't.  I bet you don't either.

I saw these two quote on The Family Search Blog yesterday and thought them to be very intriguing.  

Leonardo Di Vinci

"There are three classes of people; those who see, those who see when they are shown, and those who do not see."

"I have been impressed with the urgency of doing.  Knowing is not enough; we must apply.  Being willing is not enough; we must do."

This has been a good reminder to me to keep at it.  To keep writing when I wonder if anyone really benefits from it.  I have always known I do but I want it to help others as well.  I learned two very valuable lessons about this over the Christmas break.  I want to get permission to write the story and as soon as I do I will be sharing it here.

             

Tips on Leaving a Legacy

Yesterday I had the opportunity to teach a community of Cambodians about creating their family history.  One of the things we talked about was writing your personal history and doing it in little snippets rather than overwhelming yourself with a whole life time of things you are trying to remember and record.  I shared this simple story with them that I wrote yesterday morning before my presentation.

It is not terribly important or earth-shattering.  It is not what I would call eloquent in any way.  It is just a straight forward memory from my childhood.  It gives an insight into my father, an ancestor of our children and grandchildren and helps to build his legacy one little item at a  time.  It has a little moral to the story but your snippets and memories do not require that.  Anyway, I am putting it here as an example of keeping it simple and just doing it.

What my "Pop" Taught me About 
California Poppies

When I was a little girl my father taught me a very valuable lesson.  Once in a while he would have lots of trimmings from our yard that needed to be disposed of and could not be taken by the garbage truck.  He would gather branches and twigs and his three children and off we would go to the dump.

Where I grew up, in Sacramento, California the dump was near the railroad tracks.  My little brothers and I loved to go play near the tracks with my father watching us.  In the spring we would see the beautiful orange poppies all around it.  I loved them and of course wanted to pick some.  My father explained that the poppy was our state flower and that they grow wild all around our state.  He then told us that it was against the law to pick them.  He explained that if every person in California picked just one they would all be gone.

I wanted to pick one so badly but I never did.  My Dad helped me to learn that even when we don't understand a rule or law we need to obey.  He helped me to learn that sometime what I want is not for the good of others.  He helped me to see that laws are to protect the common good and that I needed to be community-minded.

Whenever I see the California poppies in bloom each spring, I am thankful for these lessons  and so happy to see they still grow everywhere in our beautiful state.  I must admit I still always want to pick one but I have never done so.  My father taught me the importance of obedience in this simple way and I have never forgotten it.  I am grateful for a father that knew what was best and told me to do it.

Because of him I will never pick a California Poppy...

not even one.